THE KOBY VINSON FOUNDATION
Est. the day he was born · Ratified by a council of his peers

KOBY Vinson

A man. A myth. A mid-tier Wi-Fi password.

By the Numbers

Peer-Reviewed Statistics

1
Of one. Irreplaceable.
14,732
Unread messages (est.)
99.9%
Chance he’s running late
7
Wonders of the world, ranked below him
Sworn Affidavits

What People Are Saying

“I would take a bullet for him. Probably in the foot. But still.”

— a close associate

“He once ordered a medium iced coffee and the barista wrote ‘legend’ on the cup. That was me. I was the barista.”

— an eyewitness

“Not technically the best at anything, but consistently present.”

— a neutral third party

“10/10 would recommend, if he ever replied to texts.”

— his mother
A Life In Motion

The Koby Vinson Timeline

  1. Year 0Arrives. Immediately starts negotiating.
  2. Year 5Declares cereal a drink. Refuses to recant.
  3. Year 12First unprompted opinion about cars.
  4. Year 17Learns the word “chill.” Overuses immediately.
  5. Year 21Peak. Some say. Others disagree respectfully.
  6. TodaySubject of this website. Has not been told.

Love him? Tolerate him? Tell everyone.

This page auto-updates every time his friends push a new commit. That’s how serious we are.